Me: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
Boy: “First you have to go to college.”
Me: “Okay, what about after college?”
Boy: “I want to get a motorcycle and ride around on it all day.”
While reading a story:
Teacher: “Why do you think the mom is in a wheelchair?”
Boy: Because she’s painful.”
Later in the conversation,
Teacher: “How do you think she goes down stairs?”
Boy: “When wheelchairs go down stairs, they go bump bump bump bump!”
Before an art project where kids are supposed to draw their families.
Teacher: “What else do we need to draw to make this a person?”
Boy: “A belly.”
Another boy: “A head.”
A third boy: “Arm pits.”
A fourth boy: “Stinky armpits!”
A fifth boy: “Yeah. Stinky armpits!”
Here are some of my older favorites from past children.
Me: “Can you tell me about this picture?”
Boy: “It’s a pile of dung.”
Then he turns to another boy and says, “Look at my pile of dung!”
Teacher: “Does anyone in your family play any musical instruments?”
Boy: “My dad plays Guitar Hero.”
After giving a girl a plush unicorn before she moved away.
Girl: “Thank you for my friend.”
Me: “What are you doing?”
Girl: “We’re making tomato heads.”
Girl: “Do you know what a fart is?”
Girl: “It’s something that smells stinky like poop, but it is
You don’t see it. It just. It does this.” She makes a farting sound.
Me: “Read this book to me.”
Girl: “I can’t read. I can’t read a word!”
Another girl climbs to the top of one of the slides on the playground.
Me: “Can you see the man cutting the tree up there?”
“Girl: I can see him now.”
Me: “why do you think the man is cutting the tree down?”
Girl: “Cause some trees get sick.”
Me: “How do trees get sick?”
“Girl: They’re playing and then they get really tired and then they get sick.”